Trump & Pals Voodoo Doll

Trump:
Handmade with vengeance and reclaimed deadstock fabric, the Trump Voodoo Doll features a reasonable-length tie in a Full Windsor, swollen cankles, and attired in stripes with a soupçon of wishful thinking. Your choice of three expressions: Smirk, Chucklefkr, and Sideeye. Feel free to customize your doll with hand makeup, large ear bandages, and a red hat. This item claims to be 8” tall and says it received “exceptional” results on the cognitive test. We've sewn through all of the black and white stripe fabric and upcoming versions may be different color stripes or solids. Voodoo dolls are said to work better if they're made from secondhand materials anyway.

ICE Agent:
Anonymous masked agent in some nature-colored green-brown fleece so they can blend in with the ambient environment of airports, home depots, and neighborhoods. It's honestly too nice a fabric for this project but of course they can afford it on their $28B budget so whatever. Feel free to stick alllll your extra pins in these - get one for your favorite sewist or seamstress (insert sewing joke about fine little silk pins = tiny pricks here). Currently being sewn in tactical brown-green gridded fleece. We work in secondhand / deadstock fabric, so colors may vary. Voodoo dolls are said to work better if they're made from secondhand materials anyway. 

Pam Bondi: 
Apparently you can get out of anything by screaming "The Dow is over 50,000!" and wielding a pen. Handmade with vengeance and reclaimed deadstock fabric, the Bondi Voodoo Doll features (greyscale) blond hair + dark roots and a mustard yellow fabric print that does not flatter any face, even in greyscale. This is a great way to keep pens organized on your desk - rubber band one to her hand so she will always have one pointing at you. Currently being sewn in mustard floral. We work in secondhand / deadstock fabric, so colors may vary. Voodoo dolls are said to work better if they're made from secondhand materials anyway. 

Stephen Miller: 
The nicest thing we've ever read about Stephen Miller is that he looks like Mr. Burns. We've seen additional much less flattering comparisons. This doll is 2-dolls-in-1: the obverse has an additional face. Handmade with vengeance and reclaimed deadstock fabric, the Miller Voodoo Doll makes a most excellent pincushion - it's a great place to store your sewing supplies. While it may be tempting to use it for a hammer, it probably is not as tough as it believes it is. Currently being sewn in black. Will probably only be available in black. The darkness suits this doll well. We work in secondhand / deadstock fabric, so colors may vary. Voodoo dolls are said to work better if they're made from secondhand materials anyway. 

Kristi Noem: 
Please note, no puppies were harmed in the production of this item. Also, the dog is not included - you wouldn't trust her around him anyway. Handmade with vengeance and reclaimed deadstock fabric, the Noem Voodoo Doll features extra long tresses and is ready to be adorned with your choice of hat(s). To help her with her new assignment as Special Envoy for the "Shield of the Americas," this doll will be shipped with a cut & color paper doll career dress-up set. Expect comedy and line art from the paper dolls, not heirloom quality. Currently being sewn in mint green. We work in secondhand / deadstock fabric, so colors may vary. Voodoo dolls are said to work better if they're made from secondhand materials anyway. 

Kash Patel:
Rule #1: Always look cool. While we photographed our K$H doll with the USA hockey team gold medal which was def of the moment, that was so several weeks ago. More timeless is repping the FBI Director's personal brand, so he's sewn in chartreuse (green is the color of money - dolla dolla bills y'all) and comes with a set of cut-n-stick tshirt graphics from the real collection. Expect absurdity and low image quality from the tshirt stickers, not heirloom quality. Currently being sewn in chartreuse. We work in secondhand / deadstock fabric, so colors may vary. Voodoo dolls are said to work better if they're made from secondhand materials anyway.

JD Vance:
With endless Vance memes floating around, it was hard to choose a face for this doll. As Elder Millennials™, we chose the South Park version a là Tattoo from Fantasy Island. This doll is extra fluffy, thanks to its wide-stretching rib knit. Handmade with vengeance and reclaimed deadstock fabric, it would look sofa king great as a tiny throw pillow on your couch!* Currently being sewn in white rib knit. We work in secondhand / deadstock fabric, so colors may vary. Voodoo dolls are said to work better if they're made from secondhand materials anyway. 
*as always, please do not leave doll unattended with couch

These are handmade artist dolls; we're working hard and currently shipping a bit ahead of schedule. We're still gonna tell you that you should expect to receive your voodoo doll in approximately 4-8 weeks, and you can be excited if it arrives earlier.

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Don't want to wait? Feel the need to poke pins in something right away? Choose a FACE ONLY to receive only a face in a flat paper envelope. We'll mail it right away. It'll look like a birthday card from your great-aunt Bertie or your fourth cousin's fifth grade birthday party. It won't contain a doll.

These FACES ONLY are guaranteed to be faces printed on 100% cotton poplin and each one is specially treated with a scathing glower from our team. We might even smirk back at it as we dream of what you might create. Sew yours onto a catnip sachet or your dog's loudest plush squeaky toy. We hear you could make an especially nice pincushion with it.

The face blocks are 2"x2" or so - Smirk is already rounded for hand stitching. We're artists, not quilters, so assume the measurements are not precise for piecing. 

Need a sewing pattern? Here's the official pattern! 

Please note: when the handful of fabric faces are gone, they're gone.